One more thing..

2011-07-06T17:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night I was falling asleep listening to the raindrops touching the ground.. and Common's 'The 6th Sense' was playing in the background. Tonight is a different story. I can hear the wind blowing aggressively.. and I'm listening to Zion I.

..and I can't stop thinking of you. I know it's not mutual anymore, it was just one of the moments in which you got excited too much about something and that extreme passion that surrounds your heart each time this happens was controlling you. But sometimes the things that you do or don't do... the things you say..or the moments when you're quiet say too much about what you really think and feel. And yes, I can see beyond that. I know you're trying to protect me, but maybe one of these days you will realise that honesty hurts less than this..

I always told you how much I love fairytales.. I still do, even though this morning when I woke up I realised that probably I won't end up 'experiencing' one. At least I got halfway there. I also believe what Plato said in 'The Banquet'..about soulmates. I know I found mine, because all these emotions are too intense. And I've realised I started feeling this connection long time ago. Maybe as soon as I've met you. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, I think the same way. But I can't stop what I feel. I'm happy I'm still able to feel something, that there is someone out there who can trigger this sort of emotions..

The outcome might be different though. That's what scares me and makes me sad at the same time. But my love for you is too strong and I'm willing to sacrifice this only to see you happy. It always takes two..like I told you today. I don't know if you knew what I was talking about. But if you did.. I didn't sense any reaction. It's a bit disappointing, but I don't blame it though.

Who knows, one day you might get to read all these.. I'll keep on writing to you from time to time. Just like you advised me to do. Since I can't paint anymore. That was a precious gift I had and I didn't know how to appreciate it enough. And it fade away.. All these worries I carry on my shoulders aren't too helpful either.

I'm strong.. I know I'll move on. But my life's puzzle will always miss one of its most important pieces. I hope I will learn how to live with that..

I'm sorry if I ever did you wrong. I just wanted the best for you.

I Am No One

One more thing..